The Repose of Saint John the Evangelist and Apostle 6

1'Thou didst appear unto me at the time when I was wishing to marry a wife in the period of my youth, and Thou didst say unto me, "John, I have need of thee." Thou didst in the beginning act as the steward of my body, when the desires caused by the sicknesses of the body arose, and it was Thou Who didst prevent me from gratifying them on many occasions when I was wishing to marry a wife. Afterwards Thou didst speak to me at the third hour of the day on the sea, saying, "John, if it be that thou dost not in truth belong to Me, I will withdraw Myself from thee. Take thou a wife, and thou shalt make thyself to become blind in both thine eyes; thou shalt suffer grief, [then] thou wilt pray unto Me." Thou it was Who didst open my heart three times in the same year, and Thou didst graciously bestow upon me other eyes, which did not make themselves visible. Thou it was Who didst make the joyful expectation of the contemplation of women to become to me an abomination. Thou it was Who didst deliver me from a fleeting phantasy, and didst keep me for the life which endureth for ever. Thou it was Who didst make me to become a stranger to the madness of evil which ariseth in the flesh, and didst make me to be remote from the death which is bitter. Thou it was Who didst deliver me from the second death, that is to say, the Gehenna of fire, and didst make me to stand up, being a pure man. Thou it was Who didst stop the mouth of the disease which appertained to my soul, and didst prevent the committal of the act which appertained thereto, or rather the outward and manifest works which are wont to be performed by the body. Thou it was Who didst deliver me, and didst cast out from my heart that which disturbed me sorely. Thou it was Who didst prepare me to come unto Thee in a state of innocency (or, holiness). Thou it was Who didst make my thoughts concerning Thee to be unpolluted. Thou it was who didst graciously grant unto me the faith in Thee which was undivided. Thou it was Who didst make my thoughts and my counsels to incline ever more and more towards Thee. Thou dost give unto each man according to his works. It was Thou Who didst deposit in my soul the intention not to permit anything whatsoever except Thyself to enter into me. For what can I find which is more choice or more pure than Thee? And now I have found Thee. And I have fulfilled the stewardship which Thou didst commit to me; make me therefore worthy to enjoy rest in Thy holy repose. Do thou bestow upon me graciously the perfection which is in Thee, that is to say, the sinlessness and the salvation, which cannot be described, and which cannot be pried into, and which are beyond the comprehension [of man]. I come unto Thee, my Lord Jesus, the Christ. Let the fire die down, and let the darkness withdraw itself, and let Chaos become helpless, and let the furnace of blazing fire be without power, and let Gehenna be extinguished, and let the holy angels accompany me, and let the demons shake with fear. Let them (i.e. the holy angels) wound the Principalities, and let the Powers of darkness withdraw themselves and fall down headlong. Let the Places which are on the right hand stand on their feet. May Diabolos be put to shame, and Satan made an object of ridicule. May his wrath be quenched, and may his raving madness be suppressed. May his honour be disgraced, and his pride wounded; may his sons be dragged downwards, and may all their roots be pulled out. Grant Thou unto me the power to walk, and strengthen me so that I may complete my course without suffering and without trouble. I come unto Thee, my Lord, that I may receive the good things of those who live in holiness.'